UPDATE: 10/19/2016

Just a small note before we get to the poem I wrote, Not sure why your friend had to go and change your acount or flip the Quisty one with the jedi one seemed strange, but anyways, I hear that you are not well and this bothers me so much, so much that I can fall to my knees and just cry there, because All I care about is that you are ok, I am sorry if I have caused you more drama then you ever needed in your life, I just want you healthy and a smile, I have tried to walk away but honestly I cant I cant walk away from something that my heart hurts for, I honestly feel that sometimes I do put a smile on your face All I wanted was to be a part of your life :(   But you are crossed in a number of things, I hate communicating like this but this is all I have to communicate with you and I will say this I hope you are ok and I honestly am heartbroken that you are not doing well :( that is something I never wanted, please get well and please be safe :(

10/15/2016: Walking in the rain

So as I walk in the rain I see all the drops of rain drop it reminds me of all the tears that I have dropped, My mind is like chaos, it plays games with my sights, I walk in the rain and while my heart still weighs heavy, It will always be heavy, I only wish to see her smile, the soft touch of her beauty, and the beautifull spirit that is within, it is hidden by her own pain and it always seems to find her, even when she is mean and brutal to me I continue and take it all, the pain is very heavy.

She holds onto something and keeps it close, she pushes it away, only to hold it, she sees two worlds, I can see the pain in her words she can try and hide it but its there, I dont want to be the one she hates, I dont want to be the one she attacks, I dont want to be the punching bag.

I only want to see her smile, I only want to make her happy, I only want to take the pain away,  I only want to hold her and look her in her crystalized eyes and stare forever, I only want to live a life with her in it.I only want to embrace her heart.

The pain continues and the hardest part of my pain is not being a part of her life, or speaking with her and listening to her soft beatiful voice, it pains me that I cant enjoy laughs and creativity like we once did.

I do wish her the best, and Ill always be here for her whenever she needs, I miss her smile, I miss her laugh, and I miss her friendship.

I never want to hurt her, I only want her smile to be good, because the pain and frounns she makes is what makes me cry. I will always respect her wishes but I will anser if she ever called on me or asked for time with me.

The rain continues, and I continue to walk in the rain as my tears fall from my face, but if anything she must know my heart will always be here for her.